Saturday, November 12, 2011

I learned today......

Early today I phoned my father to see if he needed to run any errands as I was heading over their way and would stop in if he was needing out of the house to do anything. As yesterday was Remembrance Day he was not able to get his banking done so today he took advantage of doing that and getting his hair cut. As usual of late my mom was laying in bed trying to catch her breath. Something she is out of lately quite quickly trying to do anything. Well we lay there we talked about all kinds of things. She is sure that there are many people working where she lives. That it is just not my father but many who do all the work about the "place". This place has been my parents home since long before I was born. As she talked, I interrupted which I do often no matter who is talking, it's just me and my bad habit, anyway, I took the opportunity to ask questions about what my mom actually does remember of her life. Sometimes things should be left alone, maybe then there wouldn't be upset and heartache on my part. Anyway, she was talking about the "man" that was there and left. That man being my father but her not remembering. Anyway, she talked and she said she knows people say he's her husband but she knows otherwise. So I asked, if he's your husband, does that mean I'm your daughter? and her reply was that of-well they tell me you are but I don't remember any of that part of my life. Did it hurt? Yes. Why did I ask? I'm not really sure, maybe I just thoughts she might say of course silly you are, but her response hurt, and later when I was alone it brought tears to my eyes. Imagine not knowing much of your life, not remembering your family, not understanding a huge part of your life. But when we talked she remembered her mother, her aunt and her grandmother, and she talked of them and how they played different roles in her life. I just don't get it, but I did learn that if I don't ask questions then I won't be hurt. Is that a good thing????

2 comments:

Jimmy Buffett Died said...
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Jimmy Buffett Died said...

Alzheimer's is never an easy thing to deal with, but you have to know that it is not her fault that she can't remember and just because she does not remember does not mean that she didn't love you before she had this awful disease and certainly does not mean she does not love you now, she just does not remember that she does. I'm sure that she wishes she remembered all of these things, just be strong for her.