Monday, May 4, 2015

My world or hers

Back and realized it's been a bit.........things aren't much still just goes on.........usually it's all about whatever exciting is going on but sometimes it's about hearing what I need to do and that's ok......Funny thing is when I was younger I never ever, just like everyone else appreciated whatever it was my parents had to when I'm told seems like for just that tiny second my mom was in my world......she knew who I was....she felt compelled to give me advice or tell me off, and you know what??? I was ok with it....really I fact I appreciated that little bit of whatever she had to my heart I knew then that she was still hanging on with a slight thread to the world that I live in and that for a bit she would still be here..............not in her world where she had nothing to worry about....where I'm sure she does feel fear about not knowing where she is or who she is with but in a world where she can sit and stare off blankly and just be gone in thought. I will sit and stare at her as she sits and stares....sometimes she will look at me and smile....I will return the smile but as I sit I wonder what thoughts have been on her mind.....sometimes when I ask I'm told of stories that I wonder if they really did happen.......her stories are interesting, I try to fit them into something that she has heard recently and she is trying to relate to....sometimes I can find the connection. She will watch the news and sit and a few minutes later talk about the fire in her house. How she had to get everyone out, and how her mother wasn't home but she never knew if she was or not so she never knew if her mother needed to be saved from the burning building or not. Now I know her mother was never about, but I also know we just watched the local news and that just happened and was told of. However I sit and listen and never question her thoughts. I listen intently and always with a slight smile, and in return that slight smile is sent back to me, and again I know she is in my world for however long she may be, and I feel content and I hope she does too.

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